Sandra Maggs

Well, here we are almost at the end of January and although it hasn’t been a hectic month for me I find myself becoming a creature of habit as usual. You would think that being a Libran I would know something about balance – and I don’t mean standing on one leg or walking a tightrope. I mean having the knowledge to understand that life’s all about enjoying lots of different things instead of concentrating on one or two. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t mean you should spread yourself thin and end up sick because you’re continuously worn out, I mean adding a little variety.

It’s difficult when you have a full time job and you’re trying to read twenty books before you buy another and you have a nasty January cold and you’re planning a volunteering adventure in South East Asia. The list gets longer and when you add the mundane housework into the mix and try to fit in yoga and your friends, well, there just aren’t enough hours in the day. So how do you do it? This is a question I’ve been asking myself for years. How do you maintain a healthy balance in your life?

To be quite honest, I don’t have an answer, but I’m working on it. I made a conscious effort to put everything aside so I could fit a yoga practice in tonight and then, because yoga always inspires me, I sat down to write this post. So just by motivating myself in one way I was motivated to do something else and it’s about time too! This is only my second post for the year and I started this site to promote my writing and myself. So I’m promising myself that I’m not going to have a repeat of last year where I lost interest in just about everything. I did manage a few trips to the seaside though so it wasn’t all bad. This year I’m going to make some big changes in my life but it has to start out small and grow gradually so I achieve my tiny goals and don’t get disheartened. After all, I’m worth it!

It’s been a while but I’m back with gusto. At least I hope I am. I’ve been neglectful and if this website was a child, it would have been taken away by social services long ago. I feel slightly ashamed but I’m hoping for redemption. Not with this one post but with so many yet to come.

2023 was a big year for me. I changed jobs, started a new novel which is just as neglected at this site and tried to spend a lot more time outdoors. The latter clearly stopped me from spending time on the internet but hopefully I can work things out so I don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Anyway, I don’t believe in resolutions, they go by the wayside after about three days but I have made a pledge to myself. I have a growing number of unread novels on my living room floor. I decided a few weeks before Christmas to read at least 20 before I bought any more. Well, my son threw a spanner in the works when he bought me a new book for Christmas so the amount went up by one. The running total at the moment is 18. That’s right, I’ve read three books already and I’m starting the forth tonight. I’m willing to share the titles with you and what I thought of the books but not right now. I’ll space them out to keep me interested in this blog.

For now though, welcome to 2024 and perhaps a more engaged me and I hope the year has started off on a positive note for you.

I’ve always been a reader and I love to read a book that has been used to inspire a movie. I remember years ago I stumbled on something that wasn’t quite right though. I was watching a horror movie that I had already visited in print which had been adapted for television and was surprised at what had been left out of the story. At the end I asked my friends, who had actually seen the movie on the big screen, “what happened to this part?” Apparently that was never in the movie so I began to explore further.

Normally I would pick up the book before watching the movie but there have been the odd occasion when I’ve done the reverse. Sometimes, and this is rare, someone would actually say “that’s not what happened in the book,” and that would inspire me to read the novel. There have been so many stories that are so different to the movies based on them and while I enjoy watching a good film, there’s nothing like the book.

I could give you a list of books that are completely different to the movie inspired by the story but it would be far too long to fit into my humble blog. If you’re like me and you want to explore further, there’s no time like the present. Personally, for me, the book wins out most times but on rare occasions I have preferred the movie – even with the bits missing. So, on this ordinary, rainy Sunday, why not make a start? You might find a new passion or you might think I’m nuts. Either way, you’re going to make the same discovery as me and question, the book or the movie?

Firstly, Happy New Year!

What ever you chose to do last night there’s almost one thing for certain, it involved a resolution. A drunken commitment that was spoken with a slur and went something like, “this year I’m going to bla bla bla……” I don’t think you’re alone. I myself have made many commitments only to fail miserably. You see it all the time. On the first day of the year there are people out jogging in the streets or buying gym memberships or going through their homes searching for stuff they haven’t used because it’s time to get rid of the clutter and maybe even downsize.

I’m one of the guilty who have made countless promises to myself at the beginning of the year and watched them slowly die. Where do all those good intentions go? Is there a place where they all meet in February and debrief? I can picture it now. “I was going to be her healthy eating resolution but she dumped me for a bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate.” It’s really sad.

So, I guess if you’ve already blurted out to your friends what your intentions for 2023 are, it’s going to come back to haunt you over the coming weeks but if you haven’t, now’s the time to ponder what you might like to change in your life. It might be nothing, you might be perfect but if not, before committing, weigh up the difficulties and make sure you can stick it out.

I really don’t have any resolutions. Like I said earlier, I’m a failure. But who knows, I might come up with something such as blogging more or taking up running again. Before I do there’s one thing I’m going to do before I commit and that’s think!

Enjoy 2023.

During lock down I decided to learn some new skills. I had a broken plate and egg cup which I fixed using Kintsugi. I’d never been able to crochet to a pattern before but now I can. I also gilded a mirror which had been on the to do list for about twenty years. I took up painting and watched endless hours of tutorials on YouTube. Now, people actually ask me to paint portraits of their pets. Well, dogs. I haven’t progressed to cats or hamsters but I did paint a nice colourful unicorn for my niece’s daughter. Once someone asked me to paint a portrait of their late father but I didn’t want to insult the family so i had to decline that one. Of course, none of these compare to writing. It’s always been my passion.

Since beginning, I’ve had people ask me to turn them into a character but unless you’re a vampire or you invent time travel, there’s not much hope of getting into anything I write. Occasionally I’ll pull out a story that’s not fantasy but it’s normally a short story for one of the many competitions I’ve never won.

Like everything else in life, all of the hobbies I partake in are a work in progress. Just like this blog. Sometimes I don’t show up for months and then here I am actually writing two posts in a week. But that’s what hobbies are about. They’re something to do in you spare time – if and when you have spare time. Maybe one day I’ll actually be good enough at something to make a real mark out there. Perhaps someone will actually read something and think that it’s not so bad after all. Who knows, but the most important thing with anything you do is to just keep trying and never give up!

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It seems as though I’ve been slightly neglectful.

After a long hot summer, which I never thought I would experience in this part of the world, I’m trying to pull myself out of the deep rut that I’ve carved. I guess realising I’ve become a repetitive creature who goes about the same routine every day without any digression at all is the first step. But how to go about it, that’s the conundrum. The way I see it, I can stay in the comfort of my deep rut or climb out. Within my rut there’s no time for much else but reading the pile of books I’ve purchased from charity shops. Sometimes I’ll put down the book and do a bit of housework or cook something but I’m sort of obsessed with researching books and authors and trolling reading lists to find stuff I didn’t know existed. I have to confess right here that I have read four books in four days before. It’s kind of sad, but that’s my rut.

Now, how do I do it? Do I slowly climb out a tiny step at a time or do I change the routine completely and discard the books for a week or two. That would never happen. So, slow and steady is the best bet. Does it require some sort of change management plan? Or do I just wing it? If I climb out of the left side of the rut and fail, do I try to get out on the right side? What if I do that and fail again finding myself back in that deep groove without a ladder? All of these questions and more are swirling round in my head like autumn leaves in a whirlwind.

I’m not really a list maker and I don’t normally live by rote. I like to think I’m the spontaneous boring type who lives in an unchallenged rut. I have been known to make a silly decision on the spur of the moment and just go with it. Normally, after a few hiccups and even a few tears, my plans work out. So I guess the method on this occasion is the gradual change from spending my days with my nose in a book, to slowly working other activities into the routine.

On the plus side, my home library is growing!

If you could rewrite your life, would you? I don’t mean changing bits and pieces, I mean a total change. A new identity, a completely different background and family, and all of the people and places that had become familiar, gone, just like that.

I’ve often thought about this. It’s not that I would do it but sometimes there are days, months, decisions that I’d like to go back and revisit. Whether I’d change them if I could, well, I’m unsure about that. If it meant losing friends and family that were dear to me then I wouldn’t change a thing, but if those people could somehow be transferred to my new life then so be it.

There are times when I wish I was younger, richer, more successful and so many other things, but I’d still want to be me with my experiences and my memories of the of the good times, the bad times, the travel, the sickness, the worry, in fact, everything.

This question inspires me and makes me think and I know, as I sit here typing this entry, that I’m about to embark on something incredible. Watch this space!

Sometimes I get distracted. The distraction leads me in a direction that takes me off on another path and I as much as I try to return to what I was doing before, it doesn’t quite turn out the way I want it too.

When I was a little girl, I hated the school sports day because we had to compete in everything and I always knocked over the hurdles. Not all of them but as I stood at the start line, I knew at least one would fall. Perhaps I jinxed myself and even though I’m taller than I was when I was ten, I still have that fear that the hurdle might fall and when it falls, you never really make it over – or do you? Just because you didn’t clear it, it doesn’t mean that it’s not behind you.

I have a firm belief that you can control your own destiny in a round about sort of way. There are people in this world who make lists and plan right down to the wire. I’ve seen spreadsheets and tick lists that are so meticulous that there’s no room for any type of detour and people actually stick to these stringent agendas. I’m nothing like that and sometimes it makes me wonder if I should be. I’ve tried to stick to routines and plan my day successfully, but I always find myself doing the exact opposite of what I set out to do. For instance, I used to keep a notebook which had a list of stuff that I planned each day. Most of the time, It sort of worked. Then, I finished the notebook, threw it in the bin and decided I would use a spreadsheet because it would be better than wasting paper. Once again, I was wrong and that habit never really developed so I was back to floundering my way through the day. It doesn’t mean it’s not working for me though.

Over the last four days I’ve read four books. That’s right, four. One made me cry for the last two chapters and I had to stop and wipe my eyes so I could finish it. Instead of doing the ironing, I decided to write this post because that’s what I constantly do. I get ideas or I start to read a book and these things distract me. I’ve decided that distractions aren’t so bad. I think that spontaneity is the spice of life and sometimes, without even realising, it’s these moments that make us challenge ourselves and without knowing, we conquer the hurdles. The distractions lead me into the challenges that make life interesting and with each new discovery, I make a choice. This is how I control my destiny – in a haphazard sort of way, because whether I realise it or not, I’m the one making the choices.

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Is there such a thing?

We all want to keep busy because apparently, idol hands are the Devil’s tools. I guess that’s true if you’re evil and enjoy causing trouble. I like to keep busy. When one project finishes, another normally starts. However, this is not always the case for me. I get bored easy. So I flit from one to another. Let’s face it, I’ve never been a good finisher. I remember the immortal words of teachers gone by, “where’s your assignment Sandra?” These words still haunt me and every time I start something new, I wonder if I’ll finish.

At the moment, I have unfinished paintings, woodcraft, sewing and of course writing. There are so many ideas in my head when it comes to short stories that I often start them, save them and then discover them months later and wonder what the hell I was going to write. To top it off, I’m trying so hard to start running again, but that isn’t going as well as it was yesterday. It’s quite disturbing in some respects, but it does give you an idea of what sort of person I am.

For this reason, I try to steer clear of places such as Netflix and Amazon Prime. Sadly I’m often sucked into binge watching some sort of ridiculous show and then realising that during that time I could have put at least two projects to bed. It’s a situation I’ve become aware of as the years slip by and I realise that time is the most important commodity I have.

So, after thinking about it clearly and typing it out here, I suppose there can never be too many projects but there is, in fact, too much time wasting.

I woke up the other day and the alarm was going off so, instantly I pressed snoozed. I don’t how many other people press the snooze button but I bet it’s more than a few. Anyway, I pressed it more than once. I’m not sure why I set the alarm to that particular time when I know I don’t have to get out of bed yet. I’ve always liked to wake up gradually and not jump out of bed as soon as my eyes open.

Anyway, after I dragged myself into the shower I started to think about the way I think. I’ve always tried to be positive and look for the silver lining. Sometimes it takes longer to find it but it’s normally lurking in there somewhere. That led me to think about the past few years and the upset that certain things have caused, to not just a few but millions. I started to feel thankful. I didn’t loose my life to covid and I suppose if I’ve gotten through it so far, I can continue. I can still work and my day job is quite an active one so being mobile is something else I’m thankful for. I can pay my own bills and I afford to keep a roof over my head. I have friends who like to spend time eating out and chatting about ridiculous things that don’t really have any impact on life. I have spare time to just sit and stare at the walls if I want to and thankfully, I don’t have to flee from a war torn country. I have peace of mind knowing that when I go to bed at night, I’m more than likely going to wake up when the alarm goes off.

So, after thinking in such a positive way for a few days, I started running again.