Sometimes I get distracted. The distraction leads me in a direction that takes me off on another path and I as much as I try to return to what I was doing before, it doesn’t quite turn out the way I want it too.
When I was a little girl, I hated the school sports day because we had to compete in everything and I always knocked over the hurdles. Not all of them but as I stood at the start line, I knew at least one would fall. Perhaps I jinxed myself and even though I’m taller than I was when I was ten, I still have that fear that the hurdle might fall and when it falls, you never really make it over – or do you? Just because you didn’t clear it, it doesn’t mean that it’s not behind you.
I have a firm belief that you can control your own destiny in a round about sort of way. There are people in this world who make lists and plan right down to the wire. I’ve seen spreadsheets and tick lists that are so meticulous that there’s no room for any type of detour and people actually stick to these stringent agendas. I’m nothing like that and sometimes it makes me wonder if I should be. I’ve tried to stick to routines and plan my day successfully, but I always find myself doing the exact opposite of what I set out to do. For instance, I used to keep a notebook which had a list of stuff that I planned each day. Most of the time, It sort of worked. Then, I finished the notebook, threw it in the bin and decided I would use a spreadsheet because it would be better than wasting paper. Once again, I was wrong and that habit never really developed so I was back to floundering my way through the day. It doesn’t mean it’s not working for me though.
Over the last four days I’ve read four books. That’s right, four. One made me cry for the last two chapters and I had to stop and wipe my eyes so I could finish it. Instead of doing the ironing, I decided to write this post because that’s what I constantly do. I get ideas or I start to read a book and these things distract me. I’ve decided that distractions aren’t so bad. I think that spontaneity is the spice of life and sometimes, without even realising, it’s these moments that make us challenge ourselves and without knowing, we conquer the hurdles. The distractions lead me into the challenges that make life interesting and with each new discovery, I make a choice. This is how I control my destiny – in a haphazard sort of way, because whether I realise it or not, I’m the one making the choices.